The Floor (almost).

Getting down to crunch time, with our move imminent (T-14 days — max), and the floor in the attic apartment is not yet done. But what’s there looks awfully good.

It is taking a long time, but I’d like to point out (to myself, mostly) that there are a lot of angles and corners, and almost none of them are the normal 90 degrees. It is also roughly 900 square feet – so no one (me) should be too disappointed that it’s taking this long.

We went with laminate flooring from Lumber Liquidators of Torrington, CT, the underlayment from Amazon,* and a few new tools (namely, a jigsaw and rubber mallet) from Harbor Freight and the local Page Building Supply store in Amenia, though most necessary tools we already had.

I really want to stress something here: one of the most fun things about this whole process (so far) is all the awesome, lovely people we’ve met at every step in the process. The staff at Lumber Liquidators was amazing – funny, helpful, and friendly. The staff at the local hardware store (Page) are a different vibe, but equally wonderful – always happy to go the extra mile, they are sociable and kind.

Though certainly on the less expensive side of the options out there, we are also really pleased with the quality of all our materials so far. The combo of the floor and the underlayment have created a really nice floor – comfy to walk on, nice to look at… not easy to install, but that’s more Sergiu’s problem more than mine…

We started the floor back in mid-June. Sergiu made okay progress – especially after he got past the crazy back (east) wall, with what seemed like thousands of awkward (and inconsistent) angles – until our plumbing emergency distracted everyone.

So when we headed back to Brooklyn June 16th, the floor was less than 1/4 done, but at least the crazy wall was finished.

When we went back over July 4th, I had lofty dreams of not only finishing the floor, but of tiling the bathtub/shower surround, as well – essentially making the attic space move-in ready by the end of the long weekend.

That did not happen, for several reasons.

First, working in an un-air conditioned attic in 90 degree weather is not fun. It’s just not; there’s no way to make it fun – in fact anything you do to try, actually just makes it worse.**

Second, laminate flooring is not exactly complicated to install, but it’s definitely not easy. Or painless. Especially over the span of 900 feet. Sergiu’s forearms*** are cut up pretty badly, and we’re all sore from carrying the flooring up to the attic and from all of the crouching and whomping with a rubber mallet.

Third, neither Sergiu nor I were comfortable unhooking the washer/dryer**** to move them out of the way of the remaining floor section, so we’re letting our unofficial plumber do it for us next week.***** By July 7th, we were all awfully damn tired.

So not a total success, but solid, admirable progress. And, in addition to the floor being almost done, we made major strides on the mailbox and the lawn.******

*Yes, Amazon is kind of evil, and Jeff Bezos has more money that the rest of the world combined, but they aren’t quite as evil as other major corporations. I try to limit my amazon spending, but have not yet been able to eliminate them from my life, the way I have with several other companies that actively hate women, lgbtq+, and people of color.
**Such as tickle attacks, sarcasm, and walking around saying “you missed a spot!”
***Also known as his Popeye arms.
****The house came with the washer and dryer, and they appear to work, however we’re really confused as to how they got them into the attic in the first place – their dimensions are bigger than any of the windows or the staircase. How did they do it?????
*****Thanks, unofficial indoor plumber!
******Field; the stupid acre+ of grass can’t even be called a lawn. A field, prairie, or less-tropical savanna perhaps. But not a lawn.